Walk and Chew Gum

You've heard of the saying for a clutz who can't walk and chew gum at the same time. That's just an extreme example of incoordination. No one really has such a hard time chewing while taking a walk, right? Nevertheless, I heard that New York may soon be passing a law that forbids pedestrians from chatting on cell phones or wearing headphones while walking a crosswalk. At first, I thought that was a little ridiculous, but then I thought about Bob who has an unusual deficiency. Bob is overall a very athletic and coordinated guy, with a special gift for martial arts. His forms are all grace and beauty. And his golf swing's not half bad either. But he can't make a basket worth squat (I'm serious about that, I mean, not even a diaper into the can) and he simply cannot walk and drink simultaneously. It's kind of funny to walk next to him while he's holding a bottle of soda. He has to stop completely before taking a sip. This is true whether he has a bottle or a cup. Out of courtesy, whoever is walking and talking with him has to also stop and watch him take a sip before proceeding forward.

As talented as they may be, perhaps New Yorkers share in Bob's unusual handicap. For everyone's safety, I sure hope they pass that law soon, or at least start passing out the straws.