Queen of Mediocrity

I am recovering from a weekend spend hosting dinners that I owed people for more than half a year. There's a reason I procrastinated because cooking formal dinners is not my forte. Add to that the fact that I was totally psyched-out for the first party by our neighbors, certified gourmands who own a Viking range and a wine cellar of more than 300 bottles, vacation in Bordeaux, and caramelize their homemade creme brulee with a handy blowtorch. In the end, I don't think I killed anyone with my cooking, or they were too kind to call with the after-effects. But I can't shake the fear that when the evening ended, they ran home to cleanse their palates and satiate their hunger with pan-seared foie gras. Some days, it's all I can do to put edible food on the table, keep the kids happy and bring home the bacon. Thank goodness for today's Style section in the Post, where I found consolation in a quote from Jon Stewart, the comedian chosen to host this year's Oscars while running a TV show and having a newborn baby: "Some people will burn themselves to the nub. I've decided to exist in a sea of mediocrity. That's allowed me to do all my tasks, but to in fact, do them poorly."