The Method

I have been struggling, really struggling, with my dear middle child, Benjamin, who is in the throes of the terrible twos. As sweet, adorable, and precocious as he is, he can also really challenge the frontal lobes, the only thing holding me back from outright murder. Like tonight, what was meant to be a spontaneous fun outing to Rita's water ice turned out to be a night-out for tinnitus as he nearly blew out our ear drums from screaming in the car for his blankie. This experience led me to brainstorm for better nonviolent means of child control, and it dawned on me.

Like our cat, there is no reasoning with a preverbal two year old. So all you can hope for is finding an annoying yet safe stimulus that can be applied as negative reinforcement for bad behavior. Perhaps such a thing would work for kids.

While people have used newspaper whacking and even electrically charged collars to shock their dogs into submission, I am intrigued by the rapid and foolproof response we had training our cat with a water pistol. Boy, wouldn't that catch em by surprise.

At the first sound of a tantrum, Psssft!! right between the eyes; no more tantrum. And if Connor even dared peep a whine about going to bed, Pssssft!! up you go! Hey, maybe it can work on spouses too --"Hi, Honey, sorry I'm home late agai-Pssssft!"